The Candle

Mrs. O'Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father Rafferty.
"Hello," said the Father, "and how is Mr. O'Donovan? Didn't I marry you two years ago?"
She replied, "That you did, Father."

The priest asked, "And are there any little ones yet?"
"No, not yet Father," said she.
"Well, now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for you."
"Thank you, Father." And away she went.

A few years later they met again. "Well, now, Mrs. O'Donovan," said the Father, "how are you?"
"Oh, very well," said she.
"And tell me," he said, "Have you any little ones yet?"
"Oh yes, Father. I've had three sets of twins, and four singles, ten in all."
"Now isn't that wonderful," he said "And how is your lovely husband?"
"Oh," she said, "he's gone to Rome to blow out that damn candle!"

The Last Fling

Two old men decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town. After a few beers they end up at the local brothel.

The madam takes one look at the two old geezers (Art and Gary) and whispers to her manager, "Go up to the first bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed. These two are so old and drunk, I'm not wasting two of my girls on them. They won't know the difference."

The manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business.
As they are walking home the first man says "you know, I think my girl was dead!"
"Dead? says his friend, "why would you say that?"
"Well, she never moved or made a sound all the whole time I was loving her!"

His friend says "I think mine was a witch!"
"A witch?" says the first" "why the hell would say that?"
"Well " the first man replies "I was making love to her, kissing her neck and when I gave her a little bite on the neck, she farted and flew out the window!"

Test confirms Beer contains female hormones

Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men do in fact turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:

1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
8) Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary.

JPS Man

One Monday morning the JPS man is driving the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Ricky, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beers and liquor bottles.

“Bombaat Ricky, looks like uno guys had one heck of a party last night,” the JPS man comments. Ricky, in obvious pain, replies “Actually a Saturday night it did keep. Dis a di first mi feel like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood ova for some weekend fun and it got a bit outa hand. Rahtid, di whole a wi get so drunk around midnight that we started playing "WHO AM I?”

The JPS man thinks a moment and says, “A how yuh play "WHO AM I?”

“Well, all the man dem go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us, with only our 'privates' showing through di hole in di sheet. Den the women dem try guess a who.”

The JPS man laughs and says, “Damn, I'm sorry I missed that.”

”Probably a good ting to,” Ricky responded. “Cuz your name call up seven times.......if i were u mi wudnt check the rest a the street meter again”

An Innocent Child's Prayer

One day Johnny decided to do his Christmas homework on his father's laptop because his was broken. After turning it on and seeing a folder named breasts (which so happen to be the topic he is doing:Breast cancer), Johnny thought what luck his homework has already been done. To his shock he saw all sorts of you guessed it naked women.. Being of pure innocence this is what he prayed that night when both his parents tucked him in bed and asked him what he wanted for Christmas.

Johnny's Prayer...

"Dear God, this year please send clothes for all those poor ladies in daddy's computer. Amen."

Could You II???

BATHROOM
PAINTED FLOOR!!!

IMAGINE YOU ARE AT A PARTY .

Tenth floor of a hi-rise building.....

AND THEN YOU HAVE TO VISIT THE BATHROOM....

You open the door...
NOW, REMEMBER THE FLOOR IS JUST A PAINTED FLOOR !

KINDA TAKES YOUR BREATH AWAY.....
DOESN'T IT?

Scroll sloooooooowly.

Would this mess up your mind??? Would you
be able to walk in To this bathroom???


THIS IS A CEILING MURAL IN A SMOKER'S LOUNGE.



Could You Still Smoke????????????

Could You!!!!!

THE LADY IS GETTING READY TO ENTER!!
This is a picture of a public toilet in Houston.



Now that you've seen the outside view,
take a look at the inside view...





It's made entirely of one-way glass!
�
No one can see you from the outside, but when
you are inside it's like sitting in a clear
glass box!
Could You use it???