Your Parrot Is Dead!!

At dawn the telephone rings, 'Hello, boss? This is
> > > Leroy, the caretaker at > > your country house.'

> > > 'Ah yes, Leroy. What can I do for you? Is there a
> > > problem?'

> > > 'Um, I am just calling to advise you, boss, that
> > your parrot, he is dead.'

> > > 'My parrot? Dead? The one that won the
> > international competition?'

> > > 'yes boss, that's the one.'

> > > 'Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune
> > on
> > > that bird. What did he die
> > > from?'

> > > 'From eating the rotten meat, boss.'

> > > 'Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten
> > meat?'

> > > 'Nobody, boss. He ate the meat of the dead
> > horse.'

> > > 'Dead horse? What dead horse?'

> > > 'The thoroughbred, boss.'

> > > 'My prize thoroughbred that won the Cockspur Gold
> > > cup?'

> > > 'Yes,
> > boss. He died from all that work pulling the
> > > water cart.'

> > > 'Are you insane?? What water cart?'

> > > 'The one we used to put out the fire, boss.'

> > > 'Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about,
> > man?'

> > > 'The one at your house, boss! A candle fell and
> > the
> > > curtains caught on
> > > fire.'

> > > 'What the hell?? Are you saying that my mansion is
> > > destroyed because of a
> > > candle?'

> > > 'Yes, boss.'

> > > 'But there's electricity at the house!! What
> > was
> > > the candle for?'

> > > 'For the funeral, boss.'

> > > 'WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!'

> > > 'Your wife's, boss, she showed up very late
> > one
> > > night and I thought she was
> > > a thief, so I hit her with your cricket bat -- the one
> > > which was autographed
> > > by Sobers, Lara and Viv.

> > > THEN THERE IS SILENCE...A LONG
> > SILENCE.FINALLY THE BOSS
> > > SPEAKS

> > > 'Leroy, if you bruk mi bat, you inna nuff rass
> > > trouble!!!'