The Candle

Mrs. O'Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father Rafferty.
"Hello," said the Father, "and how is Mr. O'Donovan? Didn't I marry you two years ago?"
She replied, "That you did, Father."

The priest asked, "And are there any little ones yet?"
"No, not yet Father," said she.
"Well, now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for you."
"Thank you, Father." And away she went.

A few years later they met again. "Well, now, Mrs. O'Donovan," said the Father, "how are you?"
"Oh, very well," said she.
"And tell me," he said, "Have you any little ones yet?"
"Oh yes, Father. I've had three sets of twins, and four singles, ten in all."
"Now isn't that wonderful," he said "And how is your lovely husband?"
"Oh," she said, "he's gone to Rome to blow out that damn candle!"

The Last Fling

Two old men decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town. After a few beers they end up at the local brothel.

The madam takes one look at the two old geezers (Art and Gary) and whispers to her manager, "Go up to the first bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed. These two are so old and drunk, I'm not wasting two of my girls on them. They won't know the difference."

The manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business.
As they are walking home the first man says "you know, I think my girl was dead!"
"Dead? says his friend, "why would you say that?"
"Well, she never moved or made a sound all the whole time I was loving her!"

His friend says "I think mine was a witch!"
"A witch?" says the first" "why the hell would say that?"
"Well " the first man replies "I was making love to her, kissing her neck and when I gave her a little bite on the neck, she farted and flew out the window!"

Test confirms Beer contains female hormones

Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men do in fact turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:

1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
8) Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary.

JPS Man

One Monday morning the JPS man is driving the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Ricky, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beers and liquor bottles.

“Bombaat Ricky, looks like uno guys had one heck of a party last night,” the JPS man comments. Ricky, in obvious pain, replies “Actually a Saturday night it did keep. Dis a di first mi feel like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood ova for some weekend fun and it got a bit outa hand. Rahtid, di whole a wi get so drunk around midnight that we started playing "WHO AM I?”

The JPS man thinks a moment and says, “A how yuh play "WHO AM I?”

“Well, all the man dem go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us, with only our 'privates' showing through di hole in di sheet. Den the women dem try guess a who.”

The JPS man laughs and says, “Damn, I'm sorry I missed that.”

”Probably a good ting to,” Ricky responded. “Cuz your name call up seven times.......if i were u mi wudnt check the rest a the street meter again”

An Innocent Child's Prayer

One day Johnny decided to do his Christmas homework on his father's laptop because his was broken. After turning it on and seeing a folder named breasts (which so happen to be the topic he is doing:Breast cancer), Johnny thought what luck his homework has already been done. To his shock he saw all sorts of you guessed it naked women.. Being of pure innocence this is what he prayed that night when both his parents tucked him in bed and asked him what he wanted for Christmas.

Johnny's Prayer...

"Dear God, this year please send clothes for all those poor ladies in daddy's computer. Amen."

Could You II???

BATHROOM
PAINTED FLOOR!!!

IMAGINE YOU ARE AT A PARTY .

Tenth floor of a hi-rise building.....

AND THEN YOU HAVE TO VISIT THE BATHROOM....

You open the door...
NOW, REMEMBER THE FLOOR IS JUST A PAINTED FLOOR !

KINDA TAKES YOUR BREATH AWAY.....
DOESN'T IT?

Scroll sloooooooowly.

Would this mess up your mind??? Would you
be able to walk in To this bathroom???


THIS IS A CEILING MURAL IN A SMOKER'S LOUNGE.



Could You Still Smoke????????????

Could You!!!!!

THE LADY IS GETTING READY TO ENTER!!
This is a picture of a public toilet in Houston.



Now that you've seen the outside view,
take a look at the inside view...





It's made entirely of one-way glass!
�
No one can see you from the outside, but when
you are inside it's like sitting in a clear
glass box!
Could You use it???

The Preacher, The Lawyer, And The IRS Agent

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his lawyer (both church members), to come to his home.

When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling.

For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent and lawyer were touched and flattered that the old preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moment.

They, however, were also puzzled because the preacher had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them. Finally, the lawyer asked, "Preacher, why did you ask the two of us to come?"

The old preacher mustered up some strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go, too."

Mi Mudduh Get Lick Dung!

A bus was involved in an accident on the busy Half-Way Tree Road on Friday afternoon.
As expected, traffic came to a stand-still, and a large vocal crowd gathered. A male reporter from one of our 'big' newspapers, anxious to get his story could not get near the bus or the victim(s).
Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, " Unnuh let me through! Let me through! A mi madda get lick-dung. "
The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the bus was a donkey.

Crazy Facts II

• In Los Angeles (US), there are fewer people than there are automobiles

• Women's hearts beat faster than men's. (And yet married men tend to die first..hmmmmm)

• You're more likely to get stung by a bee on a windy day than in any other weather.

• Research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas. (Interesting)

• The average person is half an inch taller upon rising in the morning.

• Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark. (No wonder he invented the light bulb)

• A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn't give her coffee. (What no coffee..i want a divorce b$$$h)

• In 1980, there was only one country in the world with no telephones - Bhutan.

• Bubble gum contains rubber. (So if u chewing a pack of bubble gum you're actually chewing rubbers..hmmm)

• The world population of chickens is about equal to people.

• Millie the White House dog earned more than 4 times as much as President Bush in 1991. (Why doesn't this surprise me)

• Most lipstick contains fish scales.
  

Why Is The Rum Gone???

In response to Wray and Nephew burning down the other day.... Bow your heads in respect for the rum....

A Materialistic Brotha

A Jamaican opened the door of his BMW in the middle of New York city, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely.

When the police(American)arrived at the scene, the Jamaican was complaining
bitterly about thedamage to his precious BMW.

“Awfissa, look wah dem do to mi Bimmah!”, he whined.
“You Jamaicans are so materialistic and Show-off, you make me sick!” retorted the officer.

“You’re so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn’t even notice that your left arm was ripped off!”

“Rahtid!!!,” Replied the Jamaican, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was…………. “Mi Rolex”

Crazy Facts

• If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months, & 6 days you would've produced enough sound energy to heat 1 cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)
  

• If you fart consistently for 6 years & 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

• A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

• A cockroach will live 9 days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)

• The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home... WTF?!)

• A flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes . . . lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

• The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

• Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know. NOT!)

• Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life. Quality over quantity.)
  

• A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

• Humans & dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig????)
  

• The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Ok then i'd like to see my tongue bench 250)

Adolf Hitler's Reaction To Usain's 100m World Record In Berlin

Only Jamaican

There were three men from the Caribbean living together in London;
a Trinidadian, a Barbadian and a Jamaican who were all starving
because they didn't have money to buy food. However, upon coming
close to a posh, fancy and very expensive restaurant they came up
with a plan.

The Trinidadian went in first. After being seated he ordered a three
course meal with white wine. When he had finished the meal the waiter
came by with the cheque.


"But I paid you!" the Trinidadian shouted. The waiter was very confused
as he could not remember being paid, but as he did not want to cause any
trouble...he let the Trini leave.


Five minutes later the Barbadian walked into the restaurant and
ordered a five course meal with red wine. When he was finished eating,
the waiter came by to collect the money for food. "But I paid you!"
The Barbadian shouted. This time the manager came and had to calm down
the Bajan, and as he did not want anything to upset the other customers
he let the Bajan go.


Ten minutes later the Jamaican walked in, sat down, lit a
cigarette, and ordered the most expensive meal on the menu plus two
Red Stripe beers. After he had finished, the waiter came to collect the
money for the meal and before asking for it, the waiter said, "Sir...
I have been having a sort of problem all day and I can't understand it.
Other people like you came in earlier and ate and they said that they
paid me but I don't remember getting any money from them,
so................. But Before he could finish, the
Jamaican chimed in loudly "Hear mi nuh boss,
that ah fi yu problem...jus gimme mi change!"

B.S Can Carry You Only So Far

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.


Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

If You Want To Do Nothing.... Make Sure Your In The Right Position

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Remember Your Place At Work

Lesson 3

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after
lunch.'


Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Knowledge Is Power

Lesson 2

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily
and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Management Course: Share Everything With Your Partner

Lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'


After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.


The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'



Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Your Parrot Is Dead!!

At dawn the telephone rings, 'Hello, boss? This is
> > > Leroy, the caretaker at > > your country house.'

> > > 'Ah yes, Leroy. What can I do for you? Is there a
> > > problem?'

> > > 'Um, I am just calling to advise you, boss, that
> > your parrot, he is dead.'

> > > 'My parrot? Dead? The one that won the
> > international competition?'

> > > 'yes boss, that's the one.'

> > > 'Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune
> > on
> > > that bird. What did he die
> > > from?'

> > > 'From eating the rotten meat, boss.'

> > > 'Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten
> > meat?'

> > > 'Nobody, boss. He ate the meat of the dead
> > horse.'

> > > 'Dead horse? What dead horse?'

> > > 'The thoroughbred, boss.'

> > > 'My prize thoroughbred that won the Cockspur Gold
> > > cup?'

> > > 'Yes,
> > boss. He died from all that work pulling the
> > > water cart.'

> > > 'Are you insane?? What water cart?'

> > > 'The one we used to put out the fire, boss.'

> > > 'Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about,
> > man?'

> > > 'The one at your house, boss! A candle fell and
> > the
> > > curtains caught on
> > > fire.'

> > > 'What the hell?? Are you saying that my mansion is
> > > destroyed because of a
> > > candle?'

> > > 'Yes, boss.'

> > > 'But there's electricity at the house!! What
> > was
> > > the candle for?'

> > > 'For the funeral, boss.'

> > > 'WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!'

> > > 'Your wife's, boss, she showed up very late
> > one
> > > night and I thought she was
> > > a thief, so I hit her with your cricket bat -- the one
> > > which was autographed
> > > by Sobers, Lara and Viv.

> > > THEN THERE IS SILENCE...A LONG
> > SILENCE.FINALLY THE BOSS
> > > SPEAKS

> > > 'Leroy, if you bruk mi bat, you inna nuff rass
> > > trouble!!!'

Lesson For The Day - Greener Grass...

Greener Grass...

It's important in life to reach out, to strive for
greater achievements, to go for that greener grass on the other side of the fence.

But one must also be careful………


Sometimes you can reach too far!

And when you find yourself over-extended and you're stuck in a situation that you can't
get out of, there is one thing you should always remember.......
Not everyone who shows up......
is there to help you!!!!

The Why's Of Men - As seen by Women

This list was created by a woman from a woman's perspective.

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?

(Because they are plugged into a genius)



2. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?

(They don't stop to ask directions)



3. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?

(Because their testicles fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)



4. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?

(So they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)



5. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

(You need a rough draft before you make a final copy)


6. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

(Don't know.....it never happened)



(C'mon guys, we laugh at your Blonde jokes!)


And the personal favorite:



7. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?

(Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

A Damn Fine Explanation!!!

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman and was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children ! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away!'

And the husband replied 'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened. 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed, but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!!

And the husband began --

'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, Please do you have anything else that your wife doe sn't use?'

The Difference between men and women - The Simple Truth

Editors note: The two below is so true!


Editor's note: Oh so true..lol!!












And last but not least the favorite picture loved by all women:

Medical Malpractice

A man went to his appointment with the urologist. In the examination room, he told the doctor. "Don't laugh ok!"

"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In more than twenty years, I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," the man said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'willie' the doctor had ever seen. It wasn't any bigger than a AAA battery.

Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell to the floor, laughing hysterically. Ten minutes later, he was finally able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentlemen, i promise it will never happen again. Now, what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," the man replied.

Back on the floor went the urologist only to wake up to a malpractice lawsuit.

A Poem About Putting On Condoms

COVER YOUR STUMP BEFORE U HUMP

BEFORE U ATTACK HER, WRAP YOUR WHACKER

DON'T BE SILLY, PROTECT YOUR WILLY

WHEN IN DOUBT, SHROUD
YOUR SPOUT

DON'T BE A LONER, COVER YOUR BONER

YOU CANT GO WRONG, IF U SHIELD YOUR DONG

IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SACK IT, GO HOME AND WHACK IT.

IF U THINK SHE'S SPUNKY, COVER YOUR MONKEY

IF U SLIP BETWEEN HER THIGHS, BE SURE TO CONDOMIZE

IT WILL BE SWEETER IF U WRAP YOUR PETER

SHE WONT GET SICK IF U WRAP YOUR DICK

IF U GO IN TO HEAT, PACKAGE YOUR MEAT

WHILE YOUR UNDRESSING VENUS, DRESS UP YOUR PENIS

WHEN U TAKE OFF HER PANTS AND BLOUSE, SLIP UP YOUR TROUSER MOUSE

ESPECIALLY IN DECEMBER, GIFT WRAP YOUR MEMBER

NEVER,NEVER DECK HER WITH AN UNWRAPPED
PECKER

DON'T BE A FOOL, VULCANIZE YOUR TOOL

THE RIGHT SELECTION WILL PROTECT YOUR ERECTION

WRAP IT IN FOIL BEFORE CHECKING HER OIL

A CRANK WITH ARMOR WILL NEVER HARM HER

NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!

Michael Jackson Dies Of Cardiac Arrest

Popular Pop icon Michael Jackson died Thursday after suffering a cardiac arrest, the entertainment website TMZ.com reported.

The website reported that Jackson, 50, has allegedly suffered a heart attack a little after 12:00 pm (1900 GMT) local time and that paramedics were unable to revive him.

Jackson's manager Tohme E. Tohme was available for comment when contacted by AFP. Officials at UCLA Medical Center where Jackson was treated also could not be reached for comment. Strange.

Devin Gales, Los Angeles Fire Department spokesman, would not confirm Jackson's identity but said paramedics went to an address corresponding to the star's home at 12:21 pm (1921 GMT) and the person was taken to UCLA Medical Center.

Caught Cheating!!!!!!

A couple was invited to a masked costume Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his Batman costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain, and, as it was still early, decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, so she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him. So she puts on a Goldilocks costume. She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could cuddle with and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband. After some more to drink, he finally whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie in the back seat.

Just before unmasking, she slipped away and went home and put her costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had.
'Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there.' Then she asked, 'Did you dance much?'
He replied, 'I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening.''You must have looked really silly wearing that Batman costume playing poker all night!' she said with unashamed sarcasm.To which the husband replied, 'Actually, I gave my Batman costume to your Dad. Apparently he had a whale of a time. He told me he got lucky with a hottie in a Goldilocks outfit'.

Moral of the story..... Don't try to sneak up on your man!!!

Ancient Proverbs - Read and Learn

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
= A_____________________________

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the ! beginning of a new argument.
______________________________________________

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT
GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Mathematics For Our Everyday Lives

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need..

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.