Got Any Grapes?

A duck walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do you have
any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck
returns and asks, "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and
the duck leaves. The day after that, the duck walks in the store again and asks
"Do you have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in
here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told you no every time
that we don't have any grapes! I swear if you come back in here again, and
ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!" The duck left,
and returned the next day. This time he asked, "Do you have any nails?" The
clerk replied, "No," and the duck said, "Good! Got any grapes?"

Wrong Number: College Edition

It was last Wednesday night, and Mark was sitting in his dorm room watching
television when the phone rang. "Hello?" he said.
A girl's voice came over the line. "Can I speak to Ben, please?"
Mark who lives by himself, and whose name definitely is not Ben thought it was probably
a wrong number but was bored decided to play along. "I'm sorry, he's not in right
now. Can I take a message?"
"Do you know what time he'll be back?" she responded.
Mark replied "I think he said he'd be home around 10:00."
Silence on the other end... a confused silence. "Is this Steve?"
Having enjoying himself so far Mark responded, "Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben?"
"Well... he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him,"
she said in a slightly irritated voice.
He replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago, and said
that he would be back at 10:00."
A shocked voice now: "Who's Karen?!"
"The girl he went out with."
"I know that! I mean... who is she?"
"I don't know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message
for Ben?"
"Yes... please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home."
She was sounding pretty irate at this point, and he could hear her temper
flaring. "I sure will. Is this Jennifer?"
She exploded, "Who's Jennifer?"
Apparently she wasn't. "Well... he's going out with Jennifer at 10:00. I
thought you were her. Sorry... it was an honest mistake."
"Ben's the one that's made the mistake! Tell him that Alice called him and
she's very upset and that I would like him to call me as soon as he gets home."
Mark smiled and said, "Okay, I will... but Becky isn't going to like this..."

Point Well Taken. LOL!!

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit, so she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey.

After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings his bait/tackle box. She says "Mark, I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water it, and it swims around.

She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?"

He responds by saying: "Yeah. If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"