A Jamaican's First Snowflakes

Diary of a Jamaican who moved to Canada for a better Life.

November 14th
Started snowing. The first of the season and the first real snowflakes we have ever seen. The wife took buttered buns and we sat by the window watching the soft flakes drift down; clinging to the trees and covering the ground could never do anything like this in Jamaica. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

November 15th
we woke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a FANTASTIC sight! Every tree and shrub was covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time and loved it. I did both our driveway and sidewalk. Later, the city snowplow came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. But the driver smiled and waved and I waved back and shoveled again Canadians are so friendly! Unlike those people who work the corporate area.

November 16th
It snowed an additional twelve inches last night and the temperature has dropped to around four degrees, the cold weather is not so bad, we can take this, not at all as bad as we imagined. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs have snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplow came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now brownish gray.

November 17th
warmed up enough during the day to create some slush, which soon became ice again. Bought snow tires for both cars. Slipped on my bottom in the driveway, paid $130 for the chiropractor, but fortunately nothing broken. More snow and ice expected.

November 18th
Still cold. Sold my wife's BMW and bought a 4x4 in order to get to work. Slipped on the guardrail and did considerable damage to the right fender. Had another 15 centimeters of white shit last night. Both vehicles covered in salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. That damn snowplow came by twice yesterday.

November 19th
2 degrees outside! More rahtid snow. Not a tree or shrub in our yard that hasn’t been damaged. Power was off most of the night. "Blouse and skirt" got mi first heating bill. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and kerosene heater, tipped one over and nearly burn the rahtid house down. I managed to put the flames out but suffered second degree burns on my hands and lost all my eyebrows and eyelashes. Car slid on the white shit on the way to the hospital and was a write-off.

November 20th
Flipping white ting keeps coming down! I have to put on all the clothes I own just to get to the mailbox. If I ever catch the bitch that drives that damn snowplow, I gonna make him mother feel it. I think he hides around the corner and wait for me to finish shoveling, then comes down the street at about 160 km/hr and cover up my driveway again. Flipping power still off. The toilet froze and parts of the roof have started to cave in.

November 21st
Twelve more centimeters of damn snow and damn ice and God knows what other kind of rahtid white shit fell last night. I wounded that damn snowplow with the pick, but the driver got away. The wife took off and left me. The frigging car won't start and I think I'm going bat shit snow-blind. I can't move my toes, haven't seen the frigging sun in weeks and there's more rahtid snow predicted. Wind chill is 30 damn degrees below flipping zero!!

November 22nd
Moving back to JA cause this cold is trying to kill me!!